Welcome to the life of people who are moving from the world of drug addiction to what they call the straight world.
The Life we all think is normal is completely alien to them. They do not know let alone understand our social nuances. They do not even know the first thing about living outside of crisis because crisis is all they have ever known.
Over and over again I here those who have never been addicted to drugs talk about how simple it must be- Just stop taking drugs and everything will be ok. In reality the actual act of not taking drugs anymore is the easy bit, and believe me it is not so easy . A girl was withdrawing from heroin where I work described it as every living cell in her body hurting and screaming for the drug. Just today another girl said "I'm on the done Louisa" "good" I say "No you don't understand I feel so straight now I have to deal with my actual thoughts."
We applaud those who move away and get clean and rightly so, but this is the beginning not the end. They are like small children in this straight and very confusing world of ours. One full of subtleties and unspoken, unwritten rules. And in reality does society really want them to fit in or do we want to be proved right that once a "bloody junky" always one?
Just like a baby they do not need our scrutiny or our negative comments but instead our compassion and understanding that what they are trying to do is massively difficult. They need us to celebrate each and every small victory along the way.
I am constantly reminded that I am only one or two decisions away from being where these fellow humans found themselves. I am not there to judge, but to love and sometimes I fail. I am sorry to those along the way to whom I have not loved like I could have, or to whom my expectations and lack of understanding of the enormity of the task, have hampered your recovery. I will try to love others as they should be loved: unconditionally, compassionately, and without and expectation of receiving something in return.
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