A bit about this blog

Over 4 years ago my family and I left the sleepy apple isle to live in the big smoke of Melbourne This blog is my take on our continuing attempt to Love with His great love those who we come into contact with on a daily basis, especially those who are less fortunate than ourselves. It is also about my struggle with mental illness and how I am trying to live in recovery

Monday, February 7, 2011

Life is Hard and then it gets harder

Today we began the big clean up Gatehouse it was wiped out by the storm water drain over flowing on Friday night. Not much can be saved. Jim and I had the unenviable task of trying to make us barely functional. Water and dirt every where, in every thing.
As we began B came to the door. "sorry chick we are closed." I say. " I really need to talk to you" B replies with an anxious look on her face. *sigh* "Ok lets go out side" I motion out the door but she doesn't move. "Its Dannielle I have seen her since Friday......."
She could have then been speaking French after that. My vision narrowed and I felt sick.
Danielle is a beautiful young woman who I have seen almost 5 days a week for the past 2 years. She had no where to go on christmas day so she came to our place with her lovely daughter who she sees once a fortnight. She is also a drug addict and my friend.
I had tried to txt her on the weekend to see if her house had flooded, no answer. Tried again to see if she had her daughter and would we all go to the park, no answer. Tried to ring her this morning to see if she wanted a lift to Gatehouse again nothing.
I instictively knew that something was wrong as B told me stuff that I have no idea about. It took no more than two phone calls to discover that Danielle was in intensive care with a massive brain injury.
Gemma and I dropped everything to go visit.
There was my friend as vunerable as I have ever seen her. Six lines in with various medicines and food. A machine breathing in and out for her. Her head shaven and bandages wrapped around it. Cooled to 33 degrees because it may help her recovery, her skin was grey.
As a speech pathologist I have stood in ICU wards many times before. I can read the monitors and understand the lingo. She is seriously ill and there are no grantees she will be ok.
My head screaming inwardly, "WHY GOD WHY", as I stand there stroking her calmly telling her she has to wake up. That her daughter needs her, that there are people who love her, that I need her.
I have been at Gatehouse for 2 years in March and the longer I am there the harder it gets. I spend more time with the woman than my own family. And I have grown to love them. It hurts to see them messing up there lives and not being able to stop it. But it is the nature of the Job and the nature of "small things with great love" But today "small things" did not seem enough I just hope "Great Love" is.....
I will end today with a quote I stole from Gemma my friend who's beautiful writing about today today and a photo of Danielle can be found here.

"Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain." William Faulkner.